Jeff McKoopa,Private Eye
by ProffesorZoom
Summary: Jeff McKoopa is employed by Toadsworth to rescue Peach from a certain person.He teams with some unlikely dudes to rescue Peach.
1. Chapter 1

A dark cloudy night over mushroom city...On the 7th floor of Doctor Goomthur's house lives Jeff McKoopa,private eye...

I sat with my feet up on my desk,and looked at the sign on my door.It was backwards,but I could read it anyways as I'd done so many times before.It read:Jeff McKoopa,Private Eye.

I hadn't had a case in months.As if in answer,the door banged open and a Toad with a huge mustache stepped in.I recognized him as Toadsworth,the grandfather(I think)of Princess Peach."Horrible!"he said."My dear Peach has been kidnapped once again by..."he passed out on the floor.

I'll put more up soon!Hope ya liked it!


	2. Chapter 2

I splashed some water on the toad's face.He woke with a splutter."Mario..was the kidnapper..couldnt stop.."he gasped.I drove Toadsworth to the hospital.He told me to save Peach from Mario and bring her back.I left and went back to my office.I called my good friend,Koopley Paratroop and told him we got a case.He came right over armed with his shell-spikes,which he attached to his shell.Shell-spikes were developed by E.Gadd.They give koopas better defense against enemies and also better balance.I put mine on and we headed out the door.I wsa putting up my "On Call"

Sign when I noticed something on the floor.I piked it up and saw it was a letter.I realized Toadsworth must have dropped it.I put it under a light and began to read it.

To Toadsworth,

I am informing you that I,Mario,have kidnapped Peach.

Yes,all these years I have plotted behind your backs and

planning for this moment.All those times I just bribed

Bowser to "steal" Peach so I could look like a hero when I

"rescued" her.Now,if you are smart,you will do what I say.

Put the deed to Mushroom Kingdom on Isle Delfino.you must leave it inside a crate that says"bananas" on it.There must be only one crate with that word on it.Do not employ the police or anyone else.You are being watched every second by my faithful army.

From,Mario

P.S:Burn this letter.

"Whoa!" said Koopley."Mario has been the hero of all of Mushroom Kingdom for quite a long time,and it turns out to be all a set-up.

Hope ya liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

I walked out of the building with Koopley at my side.We had decided to go to meet someone rich and miserable.We figured he could tell us something we could use against Mario.

As we approached Bowser's castle,Koopley uttered a cry of pain.I whirled to see a dart sticking out of his neck.He collapsed on the ground,dead."What kind of person uses darts in Mushroom Kingdom!" I wondered aloud.I brought Koopley inside the colossal castle,where he was immediately taken away by some Koopas that looked like doctors.As I walked to Bowsers throne room,a little whiny voice came from around the corner.

"Listen,bub,if you want to getv throwm in the dungeons,ask my dad!"As Bowser Jr. rounded the corner backwards,apparently shouting at some butler,he bumped into me."Whaddaya want!" he shouted at me."To see your dad" I said.He groaned."This way".

I walked into the chamber of the king of Koopas.He stared at me with sad eyes.I finally got the courage to ask him what he knew about Mario."Well,"he said,"Mario has been invovled in two so-called "evil twin" charades.One was with my son,but you can see he is here and is not the cause.The second was with a ghost guy called Doopliss.Try him."

"Will you come with me?" I asked."My friend was just killed outside and I kinda need morebackup." "Sure!"he said,"I need some real adventure!"


	4. Chapter 4

After I got Bowser to join me,I was feelin' pretty solid.We set off to track down one of Bowser's,er,"aqquaintences".He said this guys a real genius,knows everything there is to know about Mushroom Kingdom and the realms beyond.Apparently,he also knows everything about Mario and could probably give us a lead.Some kinda computer geek.Anyway,we end up in this place called Rougueport.Now,I'm not one to complain,but THIS PLACE WAS A DUMP! Filthy streets and all these creepy back alleys...So we go to this house,and inside was this Yoshi who appeared to be about 15.

We asked him about Mario,and he shook his head gravely."Aaaahh...I remember those days.Oh,yeah,Gonzales and me go way back.He was a great FILTHY TRAITOR WHO LEFT ME HERE TO DIE AFTER HE BEAT THAT DUMB SHADOW QUEEN!"

He paused to take a few deep breaths."I was so very weak,and he just ditched me here with the rest of us.""What,theres more of you!""Well,not exactly.Gonzales had a bunch ofpartners.Me,Flurrie,Goombella,Admiral Bobbery,Mz.Mowz,Vivian and Koops."


	5. The End?

The Yoshi told us his name was Joey."Hey,"he said to Bowser,"Aren't you that guy who Gonzales always was beating up on?"

"NO!"shouted Bowser."Well,actually,yes.Yes I am,but he did pay me quite a bit to-"

"Hey!" I interuppted."I'm sure we all love to reminisce,but I got a case to solve.Now,kid,can you search your computer-thing to see if you can find anything on this Doopliss guy?" "Can do!" he replied.

A few seconds later he gave us the info."Okay,he lives in Dry Dry Outpost at the time.Roomate is some guy called Moustafa,who is probably some random loser who isn't important at all." "Well,thanks for the help,kid." I said."We'll call you if we need any computeer sytems hacked,kapice?"

Dry Dry Outpost.

3 Weeks later.

Doopliss' "pad"

I burst into the shabby apartment.Well,Bowser did most of the bursting.Despite losing to Mario all the time,he's pretty strong.If I ever need to get rid of him,I'll sign him up in the Kongs' rugby league.Now,where was I?Ah yes.

"All right, Doopliss,come out!"I shouted.Bowser walked out of the shadows and said"Here I am.Whaddaya want?" "Ha ha,really funny,Bowser."I replied. "Um..that's not me."said a voice behind me.Suddenly,two Bowsers stood in front of me."Holy Yoshi Crap!" I said.

So,it turns out Doopliss was a shape-shifter.I say 'was',as Bowser kinda burnt him to a crisp.Whatever.Well,that means it wasn't him.I looked at my list of suspects.

Suspects

Mario

Okay,I now do need to but the deed in that banana crate.To Isle Delfino!(and why am I talking to myself?)

We got to Delfino.I put the deed under the crate,and waited.And waited.And waited.Suddenly,a figure wearing red and blue jumped toward the crate.He seemed to be shouting something like,"Yah!Wah!Ya-hoo!" What a nutcase.I can't imagine what Peach sees in that guy.Or maybe she doesn't see anything in him anymore.Whatever.Anyway,he was jumping around when Bowser stepped out from our hiding place.

"Are you insane!" I said."You'll blow our cover!" "I don't care" he said."That little mustachioed bastard is going to pay!"

He faced Mario like this was some kind of western.Neither one moved.A weird fruit tumbled across in between them.That was when Bowser made his move.He jumped high into the air,then slammed down right where Mario was standing.I say was,because he moved out of the way.That stupid plumber.Bowser quickly turned and basted Mario with fiery breath.Mario went down,but got back up and grabbed Bowser by the tail.He spun him around,than let go.Bowser smashed into a wall,and blood spewed from a cut in his forehead.He grinned."That the best you got,fat boy?"

Mario got really mad and tried to kick Bowser in the face,but he grabbed his leg before he could.Bowser threw him inot the air, then jumped up after him, welling in his throat the hugest fire blast he has ever created.I think you can piece together the rest.

1 week later

Mushroom Castle

Royal Room Thing

"Oh,how can I ever repay you?" said Toadsworth as he hugged Bowser."Don't hug me,and I won't break your spine."he calmly replied.It turns out Princess Peach had been dating some guy named Link from another country.Mario was enraged and would have killed her if it wasn't for Bowser. I remember Marios' last words:"And I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling koopas!" You know,that sounds kind of familiar.


End file.
